You Don't Give From The Top of Your Wallet But From The Bottom of your Heart

What makes life worth living? Having a passion for humanity and helping others in need is one of the most fulfilling things a person can do. The beautiful thing about altruism is that you don't need to be a high profile civil servant, a founder of an international nonprofit, or an owner of a  milti-million dollar business to do this. One grain of rice may not fill a sac, but it helps.

More often than not, we postpone the help we can give others mainly because we believe we don't have enough for ourselves or we think we can render aid at some later time. I laughed when I heard this old Economics joke that says, "The marginal utility of money is constant". So if you're waiting to be 100% financially stable before you look to help others, you might be waiting a long time my friend. Indeed, the importance of effectively managing our budget cannot be over emphasized, but there is always something we can to do shed a positive light on those within our sphere of influence. 

It helps if we understand our budget as a stream. If you dam up your stream, in an attempt to save all the water you possibly could for yourself, it becomes stagnant and ends up stinking. One the other hand, a river or stream that is left undamed has the opportunity of renewing itself, abrasing its bed and becoming bigger and stronger. 

I'm not talking about karma or doing this just for show, but  it helps to put this responsibility in perspective. Helping others in need teaches us empathy and helps us understand how others handle crisis and we never know when we would need this knowledge to save ourselves someday. Random acts of kindness really do go a long way to living a fulfilling life. The reverberations of such actions go on long after you could ever imagine.

One day, I was having coffee with a friend and a homeless woman approached us. She was carrying a child and she asked us for some change. I felt obligated to help her but my friend immediately chided me for "falling for" such a classic con. Saying, "These are professional beggars and no matter how much you give them today, they will be back tomorrow". Of course we are not all so naive to believe that those who are on the look out for unsuspecting, altruistic individuals do not exist. We went on to discuss this dilemma and I decided that I would rather help a "professional beggar" who was pretending, than ignore someone who was genuinely in need of help because I thought they were spoofing.

Some people believe that true altruism does not exist. The only reason someone will want to help another is for their own self interest. To feel good about themselves and get the compliments and fame they deserve. I respect their opinion and everyone has a blanket principle concerning how much of their resources they can give to others. Never the less, remember, there are two sides to the story. You're not being altruistic alone. The beneficiary of such actions has an entirely different perspective on how you've impacted their life. That intangible, "warm glow" feeling you've provided by supporting them and doing this act independent of future benefits is the essence of life.

Here are a couple of quotes that enlighten us on living a life of service:

• "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you can". John Wesley
• "I shall pass through this life but once. Any good therefore that I can do, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it. For I shall never pass this way again". Etienne de Grellet
• "We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love". Mother Theresa
• "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things". Albert Einstein
• "I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver". Maya Angelou 
• "The giving of love is an education in itself". Eleanor Roosevelt 
• "I don't think you ever stop giving. I really don't. I think it's an on-going process. And it's not just about being able to write a check. It's being able to touch somebody's life". Oprah Winfrey 
• "When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous". Wayne Dyer 
• "Time and money spent in helping men to do more for themselves is far better than mere giving". Henry Ford

Statistically, We Don't Hang On Long Enough...

Grit, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is firmness of mind and spirit. That unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger. Grit is a compulsory independent variable, a key ingredient, that completes an equation for success. Sometimes, hard work, preparation, and all the luck in the world will not get us to the promised land the first time we try. It takes hanging on and sticking to our guns, despite the odds. The Sales & Marketing Executives Club of Los Angeles provided the following statistics showing how many calls it takes their sales reps to successfully close deals:

• 2% close on the 1st call
• 3% close on the 2nd call
• 4% close on the 3rd call
• 10% close on the 4th call
• 81% close on the 5th call

These statistics alone shows that for anyone willing to be a top salesman and a "big-time closer" there must be persistent effort. The following statistics show how soon salesmen from Dartnell Corp were  willing to throw in the towel.

• 48% quit after the 1st call
• 24% quit after the 2nd call
• 12% quit after the 3rd call
• 6% quit after the 4th call
• 10% quit after the 5th call

A staggering number (48%) give up after the first failed attempt of trying to close a deal. 42% quit after the second, third and fourth call. Only 10% kept trying after the fourth attempt had failed and that's the percentage that was responsible for the 81% success rate - after the fifth call.

It's as simple as this... The longer we hang on... the higher the odds for success. As an avid sportsman and student of the game of basketball... I understand that, at the start of  every game,  there's a 50-50 chance of hitting a wide open jumper (that depends on how good the player is). But one thing I know for sure is that, for every shot missed, there is a higher likelihood of making the next shot. Every player, who is worth his salt, knows that they aren't going to just keep missing shot after shot. A true champion will always say, "the next one will surely going in". The man I call NBA's G.O.A.T, Michael Jordan said, "I've failed over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed". 

Maximizing the Currency of Human Potential

"The true value of money is not in its possession but its use". In the same way, our quality of life must be anchored on a set of values independent of how much we earn. Whether we are millionaires or minimum wage earners, the most important matters must be kept in perspective. Our families, close relationships, fulfilling occupations, our religious beliefs and how much more we can contribute to humanity are the most important variables that factor into the quality of life one attempts to lead. Of course, it is understandable to occasionally lose sight of these intangibles, as we focus on running the ineluctable rat race, but having the ability to pull back and put things in perspective may sometimes be our only saving grace.

If we measure ourselves or others based on financial standing alone, there is only so much we can appreciate. Regardless of how important we think finances may be, on the grand scale of things, money is nothing but a means to an end. How much we earn does not even begin to describe the scope of our potential. Little wonder, there are innumerous examples of people who, at one point in time, had nothing other than the wealth between their ears and they went on to influence millions of people. The Thomas Edisons, Abraham Lincolns, Oprah Winfreys, J.K. Rowlings, Ingvar Kamprads of the world understood that winners don't do different things, they do things differently. They understood that no matter how big their dreams seemed, it was nothing compared to the content of their human potential.

I am very passionate about Economics and I understand that its application bears results that supersede way beyond the strict disciplines of microeconomics and macroeconomics. Everyone requires some degree of economic acumen as well as a decent amount of experience in earning, spending and investing money in order to be a fully functioning member of the society. I wonder why we don't always exploit these economic capabilities in other areas of our lives. How about managing our intangible assets, like the mind, energy and time, in the same way?

In this economy, we are no strangers to maximizing benefits and minimizing costs. In the same vein, we can focus our energy on the matters we are most passionate about. The currency of our human potential expands into infinitude, way beyond the figures in our bank accounts. So the question should not be, "Can I afford this?", but, "Is this what I really want to focus my resources on?" Just as in archery, you can only hit one target at a time. So also the road to maximizing our human potential begins with focus. 

The law of conservation of energy states that, "energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but  transferred from one form to another". Whatever success one experiences in one area of life can be channeled to other areas. All that is required is a change of focus. I really appreciate Governor Schwarzenegger's quote: "the mind is the limit". The psyche  is the right starting point for any achievement we're looking to attain. Just as in Physics, it all begins with potential energy. Our human potential is limitless and the earlier we begin to employ this  ever eluding dormant energy, the closer we are to living that higher quality of life we all deserve.


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Photo: Courtesy The Movie; "Limitless". Directed by Neil Burger

Quotes That Keep My Grit-ometer Running 100%

At the age of four, my sister and I got our very first library, "The Young Children's Encyclopedia". It consists of 16 volumes and a diverse array of topics ranging from Sciences to Literature/History/fairy tales and much more. This was my version of today's internet and it marked the beginning of my voracious appetite for abstract reading. Of course, it took us only about 3 years to memorize every chapter, word for word and then we moved on to what other stochastic knowledge the world had to offer. Since then, I've always taken note of quotations that are centered around grit, persistence, tenacity, and resilience. Here are my top 20:

1. "The heights reached by great men were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while other companions slept, toiled upward in the night". Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
2. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us". Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. "On the lands of hesitation lay the bones of countless millions, who on the dawn of their victory lay down to rest and while resting, they died". Adlai E. Stevenson 
4. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't give up keep trying"! Wayne Gretzky
5. "Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out". John Wooden
6. "Success is 1% perspiration and 99% inspiration". Thomas Edison.
7. "We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey", Kenji Miyazawa.
8. "It ain't about how hard you hit, but how hard you get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done". (The Italian Stallion)
9. "Never, never, never give up"! Winston Churchill
10. "If you're going through hell keep going". Winston Churchill
11. "Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." Anonymous
12. "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move". The Holy Bible
13. "You must do the things you think you cannot do". - Eleanor Roosevelt
14. " Wherever there is danger, there is opportunity; wherever there is opportunity there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together". - Earl Nightingale 
15. "Sometimes all you have left, to keep pushing yourself forward, is heart... Most times that's all you really need"... "IQ".
16. "My belief is stronger than your doubt"... Dwayne Wade
17. "You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else". - Albert Einstein
18. "It's always too early to quit." - Norman Vincent Peal
19. "Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit". Wilma Rudolph
20. "Stick to the fight when you're hardest hit. Its when things are tough that you must not quit". Anonymous

Socrates: "An Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living".

The most beautiful thing about knowledge, apart from it being a decision making tool, is that it humbles us. I don't mean academic knowledge or that which we gain from our professional background. I'm talking about that instinct you adopt as you examine yourself, as your experiences are painted on that elusive idiosyncratic canvas. The type of self taught knowledge that makes you unique and goes a long way to define your individuality. This kind of knowledge teaches us to reflect. The more we reflect and examine our selves and our lives, the more we realize that we need to be humbled by all the knowledge / wisdom in the world. Believe me, no one has a monopoly of knowledge. 

Socrates said it best, "The more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know". Of course, over the last 24 centuries, Socrates, the legacy, has somewhat become synonymous with knowledge. He proved the need to examine our lives by living his the same. He said, "All I know is that I know nothing". This may be the most humble statement that, I think anyone could ever make. That, I believe, extensively describes, his character and therefore boosted his quest for the ultimate truth.

Psychologist gave us the perfect analogy in the word: Tabula Rasa - meaning Blank Slate. It is up to us to figure out how exactly we can make our experiences shape our idiosyncrasies and ultimately define the person we are today. This is what Socrates advocated for when he said, "An unexamined life is not worth living". The earliest part of his life was spent following the instruction of his tutors, mentors, parents and other notable guardians in his life. However, he understood that at one point in time one has to begin to think for one's self. Question authority, not out of defiance, but out of the quest for truth and that ultimate self. Do not get comfortable with the status quo. Keep searching... My father often joked that, "Getting a BA degree means to Begin Again, an MA degree means there's 'More After', and a Ph.D. degree means we have to 'Push Harder Daily'."

I think it is most interesting to note that, Socrates lost his life just to prove this point. He had a choice between denouncing all his teachings (Doing your own thinking and questioning authority) and be exiled (or given life imprisonment) or he could stick to his guns and be sentenced to death by a jury of 500 of his fellow Athenians. He decided that if living meant all his teachings would be stigmatized then life itself is not worth living. Interesting! I find this ridiculously fascinating. The perfect example of a man preferring to die on his feet than live on his knees.

To have this much conviction that life is not worth living if you are living on someone else's terms, one must have a very solid grasp of  these quintessential questions: how to live, who am I, what am I? etc. We cannot afford to just exist, beckoning to the call of circumstances and situations beyond our control. The only answer to such a conundrum is to do a constant, daily self examination of my purpose in life and what I want to accomplish at the end of the day. Understanding that if I should die today, I would be happy knowing that I lived my life, I did not just exist on earth.

Reference:

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

WHY I SUCCEED

I SUCCEED BECAUSE I AM WILLING TO DO THE THINGS THAT YOU ARE NOT.

I WILL FIGHT AGAINST THE ODDS.

I WILL SACRIFICE.

I AM NOT SHACKLED BY FEAR, INSECURITY OR DOUBT.

I FEEL THOSE EMOTIONS – DRINK THEM IN – AND THEN SWALLOW THEM AWAY INTO THE BLACKNESS OF HELL.

I AM MOTIVATED BY ACCOMPLISHMENT, NOT PRIDE.

PRIDE CONSUMES THE WEAK – KILLS THEIR HEART FROM WITHIN.

IF I FALL – I WILL GET UP.

IF I AM BEATEN – I WILL RETURN.

I WILL NEVER STOP GETTING BETTER.

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP – EVER.

THAT IS WHY I SUCCEED.

Anonymous

Tribute to My Father

Earlier this year, My lifelong mentor, my father and my best friend suddenly passed away. It was easily the most challenging time of my life. I really cannot say exactly how I handled the first few months, but I knew one of these days I had to pick myself up and continue moving forward. 

He had always said, "There's no excuse not to succeed" so there was no better time to put those lifelong lessons to test. I found the needed residual energy and resolve to succeed knowing that, "It ain't about how hard you hit, but how much you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done". Rocky VI

My father and I had discussed so many times about the Millennium Development Goals, Education and Africa, the human resolve and living a life of  purpose, hard work, value and faith. If anything, I am happy to have had him for the time I did. Here's a letter I wrote after his passing and this is my new found fuel to achieving my goals and dreams.

_______________

Dearest Father,

My greatest blessing is being your son and to have gotten to truly know you. From day one, or as you will say, from the word, Go! you have been my guiding light, my mentor, teacher,  inspiration and my biggest fan. I have always appreciated every second we spent together.

Your belief in hard work, perseverance and a very strong faith in God propelled you to the highest ranks among your peers. You will always be the ultimate inspiration to the Akindele family. Your charisma, energy, intelligence, exuberance of confidence and no-nonsense attitude has always spurred me to aim for the best. You really did believe that through hard work and faith, anything is possible.

You once told me that, “Only unintelligent people never appreciate others when they are around. It is when they pass on that they wish they had appreciated them more”. Those words have stayed with me since that day. I have always told people that particular quote as a lesson from my father.

You have always been that constant guide, mentor, disciplinarian and inspiration since way before I could remember. Even as I miss your physical presence, I’m glad that I will never forget your voice in my head that keeps motivating me to achieve higher heights. As you will always say, "My boy, please do not relent".

You taught me not only through your never failing advice and words of wisdom, but through your actions and subsequent successes. Your cerebral approach to standing up to life and living it to the fullest is what I wish to pick up from this very tough junction. You are one of the very few who get to live life, right until the end. Never content with just existing or backing down for anything but pushing forward every time for 110%. I call that, “The Ultimate Stand up Guy”.

Your ever present influence will always be my firm inspiration to keep moving forward. From the constant quotes you kept hammering in my heart at times when I had minor challenges… Thank you Papa… It is my duty to keep your legacy alive and continue celebrating the great Akindele family name and the values you stood for.

You constantly reminded me that, “It’s never so important where we stand, but the direction in which we are moving”. You were consistently moving in the right direction and now I know you are in a better place. The fire you have kindled shall ever burn bright, its warmth undiminished, undying its light.

You will forever remain in my heart, a true gentleman of the highest class, a world class diplomat, a charismatic and fearless leader, an erudite scholar and linguistic juggernaut, World’s greatest table-tennis player and the World’s Best Dad…

Your Dear Boy,

Dele Akindele.

_________________
Dedicated to Amb. Lawrence Olayiwola Akindele (Sept 1, 1954 - Feb 3, 2011)

My First Blog

I've thought about starting a blog several times before but, only recently did I realize that my passion to write and share my ideas with the world can no longer be constrained. So many great men have passed away without documenting their thoughts, passions and expertise. My father, (Amb)Lawrence Akindele, was one of them. The greatest diplomat and linguist Africa has ever produced & I think its a pity that he never got around to publish many of his writings and book projects. 

We are living in a world where there's no excuse not to write, and as a result, cement our legacies in our own words. The act of writing forces you to utilize all phases of the creative process and come up with a tangible product. 

A few days ago I was reading, "Socrates: A life Examined" by Luis Navia, and I thought it was fascinating that Socrates died over 24 centuries ago and he never had any writing attributed to him, but we still refer to him to this day. It was his students who shared his teachings and knowledge with the world and today his name is synonymous to knowledge itself. I strongly believe that old literature never dies.

It is on this premise that I have  decided to start a blog titled, "My Manifesto". A blog dedicated to living life with the motivation, innovation and enthusiasm to succeed. I completely agree with this quote: "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me".

I have chosen to examine my life and take you on a journey to the ultimate discover of self and I hope that you too will choose to do the same.